Thursday, July 28, 2011
IT IS COMPLETE!
I just finished it. It is (hopefully) going to get reviewed by some /fic/ reviewers soon. I hope to find enough time to complete chapter 2 rewrite in 3-4 days (at the most). Thank you if you have been patiently waiting this entire time. If you would post your thoughts in some comments here that would be awesome because the thoughts of the audience (all of y'all) help me write better chapters and, in the end, a better fic.
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Oi, about your new version of chapter 1. I wanna be totally honest with you: I loved a lot more the old version. I don't know what the prereaders told you or what the Writing Camp taught you, but it's like you're trying to restrain your normal style, and I think this makes your stuff lose much of its usual freshness. For example, the original Celestia & Luna scene was much much more intense, and also the funny Trixie or Derpy scenes where much more effective in the original version. Formal perfection may be a good thing, but it doesn't have to come at the expense of your own style. However, I do like more the new and improved version of the RSS commanders appointment at the beginning of the chapter (but I think you should save Trixie's appearance for later like you did previously). Also, I liked the fact that Twilight's ship is revealed as the CS Spike as the characters board it, and not officially named as such during the appointment ceremony.
ReplyDeleteSo these are my two cents... Keep in mind that I may have got it all wrong and that you actually feel more "yourself" with this new style; in this case, disregard what I said. My true underlying message is that yes, one has to watch his grammar and rythm, but not at the expense of its own style ;)
Take care!